I've gone over this (what I would post about this situation) 20,000 times in my head, pondering all of the things I've wanted to point out for a long time. But it almost seems that it wouldn't matter either way. No matter what is said, people will (rightfully) form their own opinions. Many people already HAVE and will NOT be swayed.
If you can come away with reading that and feel that I have said anyone is BAD or evil or terrible in any way for posting that IP address, then so be it. I stated that I felt it wasn't necessary to post the info, regardless of whether or not any actual harm could come about. Most of discussion was calm and rational. Everyone involved presented their OWN opinions and thoughts and concerns about the situation. People who disagreed said "I respectfully disagree". Isn't that what discussion is supposed to be about?
On the Fury matter -- of COURSE I don't think it would be okay for Fury to do one thing and TMN or someone else to do the same exact thing and be blasted for it...but who in the hell was BLASTING them? For the record - and not that it even matters at this point - but for the record, I was dumbfounded by the SITUATION she described. I've commented on one of her previous posts about that. To be very frank and very honest, I DID notice that she posted those IP addresses (without the other personally-identifying info such as ISP and location). I have no reason to lie about that, but I apologize for not being more clear about it.
At that point, the whole business of the IP address seemed to be winding down. People spoke their pieces and had pretty much just agreed to disagree on the whole matter. So what I'm gleaning from this is that it would have been better if I had said "Wow, I don't know whether to laugh or guffaw....but Fury, you were damn, damn wrong for posting those IP addresses and you know it. Haven't we been THROUGH this already dammit?! Why stoop to that level? Why be so heartless and callous?!"
People had agreed to disagree on the matter, so saying that would have accomplished...what exactly? Most people were barely even thinking about or discussing it anymore. Even if I still questioned the act of posting IPs in my pea-brain head, what in the name of glory would it have accomplished to have brought it up, or in the words of TMN, "finger-wagged"? Would that not have been considered shit-starting, especially considering that most people had already begun writing off the issue as another issue that had been visited, revisited, and laid to rest, not bringing it up again in a sarcastic way, days after the initial discussion?
If AE or Vin or Zeri or Evie or RD or Random or anyone else had posted what Fury did, dealing with and laying out that whole crazy situation with the Biff chick, I would have written the exact. same. thing. It was a ridiculous situation, and I literally didn't know whether to drop my jaw or laugh. Who ever said it was okay for HER to do something and no one else? Who in this entire blogosphere has ever actually SAID that? I can't for the life of me understand why it is considered BLASTING and pot-shooting to have an opinion different than that of someone else. TMN has made the act of picking apart comments & posts and vehemently disagreeing with them a virtual SCIENCE. Bloggers come along and state their honest opinions about a situation that they question and they are thrown under the bus? And immediately following their posts with statements along the lines of "and we don't want to hear THIS" or "don't even try to say THAT" or "before you even think of saying yada yada, don't even bother"....statements like that serve to try and discredit anything you say in defense or explanation BEFORE you even have a chance to utter one single word, so anything you say after that comes across like an excuse.
"...ones we'd have thought were the best weren't necessarily shared by you out there."
Why is it such a stretch to believe that the same can be said for differences of opinion in thoughts and ideas, that their opinions might not be shared by everyone? Some people cheerfully applauded the act of posting the IP addresses, and some felt, in their own opinions, that it was either unnecessary, disturbing, or going a bit far. If you truly and honestly in the bottom of your heart felt that posting the IP addresses was not a good idea, for WHATEVER reason, should you not be free to speak openly and say so? And if you DID think it was justified or just a doggone good idea, shouldn't you be able to say so without fear of attack or being labeled a 'dick-rider'?
There's so much more I wish I could say, but in the end I'm not sure it would serve much purpose or be very necessary. If I'm 'dead' to TMN, well, okay. Those are some of the harshest words that you can say to a person, period, and I can't imagine anyone who would WANT to hear that, even coming from a complete stranger who walked up to you on the street out of nowhere. I don't know these people -- I've never broken bread with them, never had long online chats with them. I don't know these people's hopes or dreams or fears or passions or beliefs. Never shared an intimate moment, never had a hearty laugh in a chatbox, never confided with them openly about my own life or theirs. So I don't really know how I'm supposed to react to that....am I supposed to feel that my simming and blogging life is all but over with? That my few piddly accomplishments in life are all for naught? That I should descend into some black hole of despair and regret and shame....? If I'm not supposed to care what they or anyone else thinks, then ok. If I AM supposed to care and be absolutely and utterly WRECKED by this new revelation, then ok. I think the people that know me know which way I'll lean on that one.
I stand by my comment that I wrote on Kelle's blog. I have little issue with what I wrote on Fury's blog, though in hindsight I see I should have made it clear exactly what I was commenting about, and again, I apologize for that. I STILL don't believe it would have served any positive purpose to have mentioned the IP address situation in that comment when everything was dying down about it. I just don't see it. And as I said, it would NOT have mattered if those comments were on someone else's blog. If you don't believe a word of what I'm saying, then I can't change that. I regret it, because I'm telling the truth, but I can't put a gun to someone's head and FORCE them to believe me. Why would anyone want to do that anyway? It can be frustrating, but it isn't worth all of that.
My hope is that people will feel free to raise questions when they see fit, regardless of who exactly it is they are questioning. This statement, in black and white, is from TMN's own "mouth", so to speak:
"Like we've said before, accept nothing and question everything in the Simmer's world - including us."
If you can take them up on their word about everything else, then do NOT feel wary of taking them up on that statement. If it is supposedly acceptable to question them and to feel free to disagree, then it should raise even MORE questions when people are made to feel ashamed for doing so by the very same people who declared we should in the first place.
And I guess that's that. I have spent 10 awesome years as a part of this community, and I'm not going anywhere. If you want to believe that I'm some different person from what you know me to be, then I regret that. If you would like for me to remove your links from my blog, I regret that also, but I will respect it and do so.
I have met wonderful people in this community over all these years, people who I admire and greatly respect, and who I sometimes have differences of opinions with. Those differing opinions have NOT gotten in the way of my friendships or acquaintanceships with these people, and in many cases I have come to learn more about them THROUGH those opinions. It makes for much more well-rounded relationships.
I do not expect everyone to always agree with what I say. If you have a differing opinion on something I've said, PLEASE say so. All I ask is that you do it honestly and respectfully, as you would want someone to do with you. No one gets it right 100% of the time, and no one gets it wrong 100% of the time -- that goes for governments, your parents, friends, religious leaders -- even Jarsie, believe it or not. o_O
I guess that's all I have to say about it. Gonna have to give the 'ghost' thing a whirl now, see where it takes me, lol.